Reach for the Sky!

I've got a few updates. First the big news. That's right, he's here. The head honcho, the top dog, the big kahuna, yup, he's here. I don't know how he found out, but "W" is here! I guess he heard Woody was missing and flew here to lend all of his power to resolving the situation. I also got word that there was a protest rally today, and I wouldn't be surprised if the terrorists were over there networking and trying to garner support for their evil ways

Second, we have found the stolen Woody documents. They were found today in the office of a co-worker. He swears he has nothing to do with any of this, but given his history (we have a long dossier on this particular individual), he'll be getting a visit from the Director of Cubeland Security in the A.M.

Thirdly, we have had several postings on the comments pages by the suspected terrorists. I would like to assure all of you, that we are tracking down all leads, and will not give in to their demands. As we have said before, we are prepared to make sacrifices.

These are challenging times. I wish I could report to you that all is well. But there is still an enemy, that wants to harm us because of what we stand for. We learned that lesson earlier this month, when because of our friends, we stopped a terrorist plot against us. This is the challenge of our time and my most important duty. We will stay on the offense, and defeat the terrorists abroad, so we do not have to face them here at home. And as we do so, we'll remember the power of freedom and liberty to transform regions of hate to regions of compassion.

Until my next update,
L

Oh, yeah, tough guy?!

I was out of the office today. Just like clockwork, a new ransom note and a new blackmail photo showed up on my desk. Here they are. As you can see, it appears our little buddy's situation has gotten worse. But do not despair. If you look closely, Woody still has a smile on his face. Even when the chips are down, you can't shake Woody's resolve. Stand Tall Woody!Also of note, the first two ransom notes, the first photo and my "Have You Seen Me?" poster all disappeared. Is there a connection? Only time will tell. But it does suggest that the Terrorists are becoming embolden by my absence, and I am going to be out alot this week. Stay tuned....

These are men without conscience, and they cannot be appeased. If we're not fighting and destroying this enemy there, they would not be idle. They would be plotting around the world and within our own borders. By fighting these terrorists there, we are defeating a direct threat to us. Against this adversary there is only one effective response: We will never back down, we will never give in, and we will never accept anything less than complete victory.

By the way, we STILL DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!
L

We Toys Can See EVERYTHING!

For those of you that haven't checked on things in a while, you might find this note interesting. I got it as a comment Friday afternoon....

"There are no allies...only you Lonnie...and us, the three. There can be but one resolution."

This proves without a doubt, there is a true "Axis of Evil" that is responsible for Woody's disappearance. This was hinted to in the first ransom note, but we were not sure of it until the previous comment was posted. We don't not know who these "terrorists" are, but you can rest assured that we are looking for them.


States like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world. By seeking weapons of mass destruction, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these arms to terrorists, giving them the means to match their hatred. They could attack our allies or attempt to blackmail us. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic.

We'll be deliberate, yet time is not on our side. I will not wait on events, while dangers gather. I will not stand by, as peril draws closer and closer. Our war on terror is well begun, but it is only begun. This campaign may not be finished on our watch -- yet it must be and it will be waged on our watch.

"He's My Friend. He's The Only One I've Got"

So I was poking around my desktop looking for some photos (for another project), when I just happened to find the last (and maybe only) known photo of me and Woody "together". As you can see by the photo, Woody is standing vigilant against the evil-doers. I'm guessing in the end, he was just not strong enough or brave enough to withstand the power of the terrorists.

God's Speed little buddy!

In our time, We have been attacked. We have been challenged. Yet the uncertainty, and sorrow, and sacrifice of these years have not been in vain. Millions have gained their liberty; and millions more have gained the hope of liberty that will not be denied. The trumpet of freedom has been sounded, and that trumpet never calls retreat.

Until Next Time,
L

"You're my favorite deputy!"

The administration is please to announce the newest member of the team as we fight this war on terror. We now have a new "Director of Cubeland Security". Dan has egeraly agreed to tackle the job.

Good luck friend. You knew your job would be difficult when you accepted it. We both know that 1 person alone cannot protect all of our assets 24/7/365. All of our people, but especially Sponge Bob, Rex and Droplet, feel less vulnerable and safer with you on the job.

And tonight I also pleased announce a distinguished American that lead this effort, to strengthen American security: a co-worker, a true patriot, a trusted friend. He will lead, oversee and coordinate a comprehensive strategy to safeguard us against terrorism, and respond to any attacks that may come. These measures are essential. But the only way to defeat terrorism as a threat to our way of life is to stop it, eliminate it, and destroy it where it grows.

You've Got A Friend in Me...

Drama Alert, Code Yellow

In this complicated world, sometimes allies don't see eye to eye. While both my strive for the same goal, the perceived path to victory may not look the same.

After yesterdays impasse, a long summit was held. Issues were discussed on both sides. We realize that sometimes our allies are in complicated political situations. While they may strive to be the best partner possible, they might also limited by what they are allowed to disclose due to internal and external political pressures.

We realize that you did not ask to be put in the situation you are in. The Terrorists forced their will upon you. You did not ask for the information you were given. The Terrorists betrayed your trust and put you in this difficult situation. Given these facts, we have decided that we must re-double our human and electronic intelligence efforts in order to intercept these comminiques before anymore harm can come to our peoples. By any measure, these are patriotic acts that protect freedom. Had these safegards been in place on the day of the attack, it is quite possible all of this could have been prevented.

In the end, it was determined, based on specific but limited information provided to us, that the ally in question should be restored to the circle of trust. Welcome back to the "Coalition of the Woody". It's comforting to know you are with us, and not with the terrorists.

These are savage acts of violence but they have not brought the terrorists any closer to achieving their strategic objectives. The terrorists failed to stop the transfer of sovereignty. They failed to incite a civil war. They failed to break our Coalition and force a mass withdrawal by our allies.

"Not now, Slinky. I've got some bad news."

IMPORTANT UPDATE!
DRAMA ALERT, CODE ORANGE!

Through proven interrogation techniques, I've discovered that one of our closest and most trusted allies, have important intelligence that they have yet to disclose.

QUOTE "I guess maybe I qualify as an enemy combatant, since I have the information, but am not disclosing. Although I will stress that I have not participated in anyway, nor do I know where Woody is being held."

This is particularly troubling to me, as this ally was solidly in the circle of trust. ("You" know who "you" are.)

We cannot completely sever ties as they are still an important source of information. However, I am not sure I can trust them 100% any longer. Trust is an interesting thing. It can take years to build, but only seconds to destroy. Hopefully they can do what it takes to regain our trust. They know what they have to do.

We are extending the peace by supporting the rise of democracy, and the hope and progress that democracy brings, as the alternative to hatred and terror. In democratic and successful societies, men and women do not swear allegiance to malcontents and murderers; they turn their hearts and labor to building better lives. And democratic governments do not shelter terrorist camps or attack their neighbors. When justice and democracy advance, so does the hope of lasting peace.

Faithfully yours,
L

"Pull my string!"

Well, our sources checked it out, and UNFORTUNATELY the Woody in the photo isn't mine. Here was the telling bit, the time stamp from the picture.




Apparently, in our rush to judgement, we failed to check out the most obvious but key piece of evidence. It turns out the photo was almost a year old. As you can tell by looking at the "WOODY WATCH" on the upper right of the page, my Woody disappeared last week.

I realize we didn't find what we thought we would find. But knowing what I know today, I would have made the same decision.

I can safely say we are leading the world in confronting and defeating the man-made evil of terrorism. There are days when you may not hear good news about our war on terror. Let me assure you there is never a day when I do not learn of another threat, or receive reports of operations in progress, or give an order in this global war against a scattered network of extremist. But the war goes on, and we are winning.

Until Next Time,

L

"Ride like the wind, Bullseye"

Yes Folks, we've had our first Woody Sighting! This blog posting along with the attached photos was sent in by a concerned reader. Much thanks! Like it's been said before "Either you are with us, or you are with the Terrorists."

Given the grainy nature of the photograph, I'm not sure it's the right Woody. But we've got our research teams on the case and hopefully this will turn out to be a useful lead and not a wild toy chase.

Evil persons obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience must be taken very seriously, and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply.

Until Next Time,
L

P.S. Thanks to Rich Tatum for use of the images!

"Somebody Poisoned The Water Hole!"

A New Development! After returning to work from a rare lunchtime break, I received an new envelope. Inside was a new demand letter (<-- Link) and a PHOTO! (<-- Link)

As you can see, Woody appears to be in GRAVE DANGER! I know it's a tough thing to see, but this is a war. Sometimes things are difficult. We must be prepared to make sacrifices.

We have more work to do, and there will be tough moments that test our resolve. We're fighting against people with blind hatred -- and armed with lethal weapons -- who are capable of any atrocity. They take innocent lives to create chaos for the cameras. They are trying to shake our resolve, and our will, but they will fail. The terrorists do not understand us. We do not falter under threat, and we will not allow our future to be determined by cowardly Toy-nappers.

Until next time, keep your eyes peeled....

L

"There's A Snake in My Boots!"

So this all started just about a week ago. I come in to work and find a "Confidential" envelope on my chair. No big deal, must be something from HR. I open it and to my surprise I find the following!

A ransom note! <--Link

NO! I look up and sure enough Woody's gone! Our response was quick. WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS! The terrorists started this fight, and let me make this clear, we will end it at a time and place of our choosing.

Until my next reply....
L

Have You Seen My Woody?

Hi Everyone. Sometime Between 17:30 Hours Monday August 14th And 7:00 Hours Thursday August 17th, A Brutal Act Of TERRORISM Was Committed In CHB (my place of work). “Woody” Was Toy-Napped From His Home. We Have Reason To Believe He Is Being Held Against His Will At An Undisclosed Location In CHB. Please Forward Any Information Leading To The Recovery Of Woody And Apprehension Of The TERRORISTS Involved In This Inhuman Toy-Napping.

More information to follow.