Where's Woody?

"Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting"

2006-12-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

Now that he has returned, in an effort to protect Woody from future attacks, a team of crack defenders has been assembled to ensure his safety. This team consists of (L to R)

The HULK, Head of Interrogation
Superman, Homeland Security
Bart Simpson, Master of Mayhem
"Clone" Woody, body double
Woody, The "sheriff"
Doomsday, Muscle
Batman, "Black Opps"
Bizzarro, International Security
Sarge, Military Intelligence
Wonder Woman, Seductress
Amazo, Stealth Opps

"We will never back down, never give in, and never accept anything less than complete victory."

He's BACK!!!

2006-12-20T06:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas came early. WOODY'S BACK!!! Not only is he back, but he was returned safely. He's back with out us capitulating to terror. Not only that, it looks as if the terrorists have turned over a new leaf as he returned with a donation to a local children's charity. AWESOME !! In the end, no amount of posturing or threats could compete with the spirit of Christmas and goodwill that comes along with it. I'm glad the saga, is (just about) over.

"We will never back down, never give in, and never accept anything less than complete victory."

No More Mr. Nice Guy...

2006-10-30T08:34:00.000-08:00

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry..."

Yup. We've got a new ally in the war on terror. Brought out of his basement prison, the Incredible Hulk is now on the scene. He's not a "replacement" for Woody, we have several "body doubles" for that role, he is a seasoned crime fighting veteran. Terrorists, watch out. His rage knows no bounds.

Due to the new security forces we have in place and the lack of any sign of activity from the terrorists, the Security threat level is now being lowered to YELLOW

"The terrorists are as brutal an enemy as we've ever faced. They're unconstrained by any notion of our common humanity, or by the rules of warfare. No one should underestimate the difficulties ahead, nor should they overlook the advantages we bring to this fight. "

Where in the world are you?

2006-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long time with no updates. Nothing new to report. Ministry, one of my favorite bands heard of my fight against the evil doers and commissioned a song to help the fight. The song "No W" from Houses of the Mole'

I am sorry about the poor sound quality in the following video. You might want to turn it up so you can hear it better. Enjoy the show.

"Are you shrink-wrapped?"

2006-09-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

We received a new ransom note yesterday. No photo of woody this time, but there was a note from "Woody" along with the ransom note. However, we have reasons to doubt it's really from Woody. We have a couple of reasons to believe this. 1). It's a type written note. As far as we know, woody cannot type. 2) Woody would NEVER cooperate with terrorists. 3). My name is MISSPELLED in the note. The real woody would NEVER mis-spell my name. We do however believe this note is genuine. They knew the details of what had happened to woody to a tee, and more importantly, the particulars of the delivery of the note was exactly as they have been in the past. We cannot give out these details, as they might compromise our search for the terrorists.

So there you go. The same old tit for tat that's been going on for almost 6 weeks now. Despite the whisperings that we have neglected out duties, we are still making progress and the terrorists will be brought to justice any day.

History tells us that logic is false. We didn't create terrorism by fighting terrorism. This is not the reason why the terrorists are at war against us.

Here is the list of things to do while I'm away.

2006-09-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,I know it's been a while, but here is what I've got. I went on a cross country excursion. I spent the weekend in Orlando FL. As many of you may know, this is Woody's adopted home. After much searching over 2+ days, I found lots of evidence of "Buzz lightyear" but none of Woody. We had fun and it wasn't a wasted trip per se, but now were back and focused on the task at had.

All was quiet while I was gone. Again the terrorists have gone underground. We've got some ideas to lure them out, but seeing as we were gone, we didn't have time to work on our plan.

As you may also remember, Sponge Bob and Raggedy Anne showed up last week. Sponge Bob still hasn't said anything. As you can tell by the look on his face he's been through alot. I fear he may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or P.T.S.D. All he does when I pull his tongue is sit and shake.

And finally, we had a CONFIRMED Woody sighting in the building. Upon immediate investigation, it turned out to be a false alarm.

Also, don't forget you can sign up for an e-mail update to find out everytime I update this page!

Every nation must make a choice: We can support the moderates and reformers working for change, or we can yield the future to the terrorists and extremists. We have made our choice - we're standing with the moderates and reformers.

"No, Buzz, you've gotta come back."

2006-09-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone, I've got some things to report, but nothing urgent. I'm headed out of town for a few days, so I'll try to update the site as I can. After the return of Sponge Bob and Raggedy Anne, things have been quite. No news on Woody. We've also had a bit of a technical setback in our latest plan to recover Woody. That's ok, we expect things to be fully implemented when we return to the office next week.

What I'm really excited about is the newest feature for keeping track of what goes on here. Simply type your e-mail into the box below , and you'll be automatically contacted whenever I update this page. There is also a link to this on the right side of the page.

EDIT: Apparently the E-mail form isn't working. To sign up for updates, click the link below.

Subscribe by Email

We're pursuing a strategy of freedom around the world, because I understand free nations will reject terror. Free nations will answer the hopes and aspirations of their people. Free nations will help us achieve the peace we all want.

"Boy, am I glad to see you guys!"

2006-09-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

LIBERATION DAY!!!

We don't know how, but Sponge Bob is BACK!!! YEAH!!! He and Raggedy Ann Showed back up today. I was gone all day and they were here when I got back! I'm not sure if the terrorists freed them or they escaped on their own and don't really care. They're back. I told everyone a few days ago, that our capabilities were about to be significantly increased. The terrorists must know this. This is why we are winning.

Photos and more details as soon as we have them!

Freedom is beautiful, and when people are free, they express their opinions. You know, they couldn't express their opinions before we came, now they can. I've always said democracy is going to be hard. It's not easy to go from being enslaved to being free. But it's going to happen, because the basic instincts of mankind is to be free. They want to be free. And so, sure, there's going to be people expressing their opinions, and we welcome that, just like here where people can express their opinion.

"Hey, w-wait, What happened?"

2006-09-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

So I'm worried that things may take a turn for the worse. Take a look at this past weekend's weather. The photo is from one of our surveillance cameras located where we suspect the terrorists hang out on a regular basis during the winter months. You can tell by the time stamp that the photo was taken last Saturday morning.

That's right folks, it's snow. This can only mean that winter, and therefore ski season, is right around the corner. As the ski season gets closer, and since we have and will continue to steadfastly refuse to negotiate with terrorists, what we are afraid of is that the terrorists will start to get desperate. And who knows what desperate men are capable of? Still, even with the weather change, we will continue out timetable and continue to follow our road map to peace.

We still have difficult work ahead. I wish I could tell you that the violence is waning and that the road ahead will be smooth. It will not. There will be more tough fighting and more days of struggle -- and we will see more images of chaos and carnage in the days and months to come. The terrorists are losing on the field of battle, so they are fighting this war through the pictures we see on television and in the newspapers every day. They're hoping to shake our resolve and force us to retreat. They are not going to succeed.

"Wind, The Frog..."

2006-09-15T06:04:00.000-07:00

Not much to report on Woody's status other than yesterday's new ransom note and blackmail photo. That does not mean however, that we are still not actively engaged in fighting this war on terror. Today I can announce that we have started clandestine operations that will SIGNIFICANTLY increase our capability in this fight. For obvious reasons, I cannot disclose at this time what the nature of these operations are. Let me assure each and every one of you, that there will be chaos in the terrorist camp when the full scope of this operation is reveled.

We're going to make sure you have the resources you need to defeat our enemies and secure the peace for generations to come. I believe in you, and I believe in all the people who are serving in the cause of freedom with such courage and such determination. You're winning this war -- and enemies understand that, too.

An Army of One? I don't think so.

"Ha ha!! To Infinity and Beyond!!"

2006-09-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

NEW RANSOM NOTE!

After almost 2 weeks of silence, the terrorists have finally made contact again! This time with a new ransom note and photo. Taking a page straight out of SID's playbook, Woody appears to be in his greatest danger yet. But you have to hand it to the little guy, even in the face of certain death, he still has that same content smile on his face. But maybe Woody remembers how this story ended in the film. In the movie, the rocket wasn't the end of Woody and Buzz, it took them back home. I bet the terrorists forgot that part!

We still have no word on Sponge Bob. There is also another toy napping victim that we don't want to talk about for security reasons.

We know what the terrorists believe, we know what they have done, and we know what they intend to do. And now the world's free people must summon the will to meet this great challenge. The road ahead is going to be difficult, and it will require more sacrifice. Yet we can have confidence in the outcome, because we've seen freedom conquer tyranny and terror before.

"Just, just keep looking..."

2006-09-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Well our report yesterday of Woody's return wasn't 100% accurate. The "woody" we posted yesterday was, in fact, a "body double". We employed this tactic to try to confuse and disorient the terrorists. For various reasons, which we obviously cannot disclose at this time, we think it worked.

The bad news, however, is that the "real" Woody is still missing, along with Sponge Bob. We are still doing what we can to look for them, but we haven't heard anything in days. We've also have folks bring me a "replacement". Thanks for the thoughts, but it would be hard to "replace" Woody and Bob.

We’ve also added a couple of new features. The first one we added a few days ago. It’s the “Woody Alert Status” on the right hand sidebar. It shows the current perceived terrorist threat level. The second feature is related to the first. The color of the daily quote is now going to be changed to the color of the threat level on that day. This will give us a running record of where we were on any particular day.

We have endured trials before, and we face a difficult road ahead. Winning this fight will require the determined efforts of a unified country, and we must put aside our differences and work together to meet the test that history has given us. We will defeat our enemies. We will protect our people. And we will lead the 21st century into a shining age of human liberty.

C'mon, c'mon, that's it...

2006-09-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

He's Back!

As a safe guard he's been moved to a secure location. More details to follow....

We will never back down. We will never give in. And we will never accept anything less than complete victory.

"Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?"

2006-09-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a quiet week. Not much to report, or I would. We've heard nothing from the terrorists since Sponge Bob disappeared last Friday. This can only mean that the terrorists are scared and that we are winning this war on terror. They are afraid to come out of their cubes. They know we are watching them. We are just waiting on the right time to act. We might have a long way to go, but I look forward to the day that Woody and Sponge Bob are safely home. Hopefully that day is soon.

Our offensive against the terrorists includes far more than military might. We use financial tools to make it harder for them to raise money. We're using diplomatic pressure, and our intelligence operations are used to disrupt their day-to-day functions. Because we're on the offense, it is more difficult for them to transfer money through the international banking system. Because we're on the offense, they can no longer communicate openly without fear of destruction. And because we're on the offense, they can no longer move widely without fear.

Thanks for checking in,
L

"Wait for the signal."

2006-09-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I really expected to get back here today and have some sort of indication as to what happened to Sponge Bob. But, I was wrong. There was, in a word, Nothing. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. This raises even more questions. Are the folks that grabbed Sponge Bob the same group of terrorists? Is this a splinter cell? Or is it a completely new group of terrorists? At this point, we have no idea. Since everything seems quiet, we are reducing the threat alert to Code Orange until further notice. Also, given the recent developments, we have moved Rex and Droplet to a secure location.

We've recently started electronic surveillance of some suspected terrorists. Unfortunately, our efforts failed to uncover any evidence of Woody, or of Sponge Bob. Given the location that we had to photograph, we we're unable to obtain full coverage of the areas that we are trying to survey. This happens occasionally in the electronic warfare game. We are in the process of repositioning our assets to obtain better coverage. In the meantime, I can show you some declassified images that we were able to obtain. I'm sorry about the poor quality of these images, we had to reduce the resolution in order to declassify them. In one we were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of one of the suspected kidnappers.

And there's only one path to safety and that's the path of action, the Puppet Act. We must continue to stay on the offense when it comes to chasing these terrorists down and bringing them to justice -- and we will. We've got to be strong and resolute and determined. We will never show weakness in the face of these people who have no soul, who have no conscience, who care less about the life of a man or a woman or a child. We've got to do everything we can here at home. And there's no doubt in my mind that, with the Almighty's blessings and hard work, that we will succeed in our mission.

"Say good-bye to the wife and tatertots!"

2006-09-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

CODE RED!!!

SPONGE BOB IS MISSING!!

At this point, we still know very little. The discovery was made late in the day when we went to place sponge bob, rex and droplet in a secure area for the long weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to follow up on the matter AND I'm out of the office until Wed., so I will have Dan check on things first thing Tuesday.

All I have at this point is a photo a where Sponge bob used to be. When I know something, you'll know something. Let's all hope for sponge bob's safety.

The terrorists are as brutal an enemy as we've ever faced. They're unconstrained by any notion of our common humanity, or by the rules of warfare. No one should underestimate the difficulties ahead, nor should they overlook the advantages we bring to this fight.

L

"No, I'm fine...I'm okay..."

2006-09-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I said we knew more. Well we do. We were just waiting on lab results to to bring everyone up to date. Yesterday, we did receive a photo of woody supposedly being tortured. From the beginning, be had reason to believe that this photo was a fake. After careful analysis, the photography experts in our lab have determined that the photo is indeed a fabrication. If you click the thumbnail, you can see woody, in what appears to be great pain. However, when you contrast the original ransom photo the similarities are striking. Click here to see the the photos side by side. The apparent "steam" coming from Woody's hat is nothing more than lines drawn on the original photo with a crude software program. The same goes for Woody's mouth and the stain on the front of his pants. Any differences in the photos are simply due to the different nature of their reproduction in our labs. I feel certain that Woody has not been harmed, and is doing fine, considering his circumstances.

We don't know the course that our own struggle will take -- or the sacrifices that might lie ahead. We do know, however, that the defense of freedom is worth our sacrifice. We do know the love of freedom is the mightiest force of history. And we do know the cause of freedom will once again prevail.

Until Next Time,
L

"Staff meeting, everybody"

2006-09-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

First off, we'd like to thank Frau, for organizing the wonderful woody support rally. This photo was posted in the comments section yesterday. The rally was held many thousands of miles away from here in West Virginia and just goes to show the world wide support this campaign against terror has. By looking at the photo, you can truly know that when Frau says, "Got Wood?" it comes from the heart. Thanks Frau. Welcome to the coalition of the Woody!

Well it looks like the terrorists have gone underground. They seem to be laying low. At this point we are just picking up low level signal intelligence. We also know, that based on this and solid human intelligence, that they ARE checking out this site on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I cannot say more, as I do not want to compromise our assets. But I can say we do know more, much more. So stay focused, stay the course. This just proves that our efforts are working and we hope to have Woody safely home as soon as possible.

We have a mission, and that mission comes from our most basic beliefs. We have no desire to dominate, no ambitions of empire. Our aim is a democratic peace -- a peace founded upon the dignity and rights of every man and woman. We act in this cause with friends and allies at our side, yet we understand our special calling: This great republic will lead the cause of freedom.

Reach for the Sky!

2006-08-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

I've got a few updates. First the big news. That's right, he's here. The head honcho, the top dog, the big kahuna, yup, he's here. I don't know how he found out, but "W" is here! I guess he heard Woody was missing and flew here to lend all of his power to resolving the situation. I also got word that there was a protest rally today, and I wouldn't be surprised if the terrorists were over there networking and trying to garner support for their evil ways

Second, we have found the stolen Woody documents. They were found today in the office of a co-worker. He swears he has nothing to do with any of this, but given his history (we have a long dossier on this particular individual), he'll be getting a visit from the Director of Cubeland Security in the A.M.

Thirdly, we have had several postings on the comments pages by the suspected terrorists. I would like to assure all of you, that we are tracking down all leads, and will not give in to their demands. As we have said before, we are prepared to make sacrifices.

These are challenging times. I wish I could report to you that all is well. But there is still an enemy, that wants to harm us because of what we stand for. We learned that lesson earlier this month, when because of our friends, we stopped a terrorist plot against us. This is the challenge of our time and my most important duty. We will stay on the offense, and defeat the terrorists abroad, so we do not have to face them here at home. And as we do so, we'll remember the power of freedom and liberty to transform regions of hate to regions of compassion.

Until my next update,
L

Oh, yeah, tough guy?!

2006-08-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

I was out of the office today. Just like clockwork, a new ransom note and a new blackmail photo showed up on my desk. Here they are. As you can see, it appears our little buddy's situation has gotten worse. But do not despair. If you look closely, Woody still has a smile on his face. Even when the chips are down, you can't shake Woody's resolve. Stand Tall Woody!Also of note, the first two ransom notes, the first photo and my "Have You Seen Me?" poster all disappeared. Is there a connection? Only time will tell. But it does suggest that the Terrorists are becoming embolden by my absence, and I am going to be out alot this week. Stay tuned....

These are men without conscience, and they cannot be appeased. If we're not fighting and destroying this enemy there, they would not be idle. They would be plotting around the world and within our own borders. By fighting these terrorists there, we are defeating a direct threat to us. Against this adversary there is only one effective response: We will never back down, we will never give in, and we will never accept anything less than complete victory.

By the way, we STILL DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!
L

We Toys Can See EVERYTHING!

2006-08-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you that haven't checked on things in a while, you might find this note interesting. I got it as a comment Friday afternoon....

"There are no allies...only you Lonnie...and us, the three. There can be but one resolution."

This proves without a doubt, there is a true "Axis of Evil" that is responsible for Woody's disappearance. This was hinted to in the first ransom note, but we were not sure of it until the previous comment was posted. We don't not know who these "terrorists" are, but you can rest assured that we are looking for them.

States like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world. By seeking weapons of mass destruction, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these arms to terrorists, giving them the means to match their hatred. They could attack our allies or attempt to blackmail us. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic.

We'll be deliberate, yet time is not on our side. I will not wait on events, while dangers gather. I will not stand by, as peril draws closer and closer. Our war on terror is well begun, but it is only begun. This campaign may not be finished on our watch -- yet it must be and it will be waged on our watch.

"He's My Friend. He's The Only One I've Got"

2006-08-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

So I was poking around my desktop looking for some photos (for another project), when I just happened to find the last (and maybe only) known photo of me and Woody "together". As you can see by the photo, Woody is standing vigilant against the evil-doers. I'm guessing in the end, he was just not strong enough or brave enough to withstand the power of the terrorists.

God's Speed little buddy!

In our time, We have been attacked. We have been challenged. Yet the uncertainty, and sorrow, and sacrifice of these years have not been in vain. Millions have gained their liberty; and millions more have gained the hope of liberty that will not be denied. The trumpet of freedom has been sounded, and that trumpet never calls retreat.

Until Next Time,
L

"You're my favorite deputy!"

2006-08-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

The administration is please to announce the newest member of the team as we fight this war on terror. We now have a new "Director of Cubeland Security". Dan has egeraly agreed to tackle the job.

Good luck friend. You knew your job would be difficult when you accepted it. We both know that 1 person alone cannot protect all of our assets 24/7/365. All of our people, but especially Sponge Bob, Rex and Droplet, feel less vulnerable and safer with you on the job.

And tonight I also pleased announce a distinguished American that lead this effort, to strengthen American security: a co-worker, a true patriot, a trusted friend. He will lead, oversee and coordinate a comprehensive strategy to safeguard us against terrorism, and respond to any attacks that may come. These measures are essential. But the only way to defeat terrorism as a threat to our way of life is to stop it, eliminate it, and destroy it where it grows.

You've Got A Friend in Me...

2006-08-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

Drama Alert, Code Yellow

In this complicated world, sometimes allies don't see eye to eye. While both my strive for the same goal, the perceived path to victory may not look the same.

After yesterdays impasse, a long summit was held. Issues were discussed on both sides. We realize that sometimes our allies are in complicated political situations. While they may strive to be the best partner possible, they might also limited by what they are allowed to disclose due to internal and external political pressures.

We realize that you did not ask to be put in the situation you are in. The Terrorists forced their will upon you. You did not ask for the information you were given. The Terrorists betrayed your trust and put you in this difficult situation. Given these facts, we have decided that we must re-double our human and electronic intelligence efforts in order to intercept these comminiques before anymore harm can come to our peoples. By any measure, these are patriotic acts that protect freedom. Had these safegards been in place on the day of the attack, it is quite possible all of this could have been prevented.

In the end, it was determined, based on specific but limited information provided to us, that the ally in question should be restored to the circle of trust. Welcome back to the "Coalition of the Woody". It's comforting to know you are with us, and not with the terrorists.

These are savage acts of violence but they have not brought the terrorists any closer to achieving their strategic objectives. The terrorists failed to stop the transfer of sovereignty. They failed to incite a civil war. They failed to break our Coalition and force a mass withdrawal by our allies.

"Not now, Slinky. I've got some bad news."

2006-08-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

IMPORTANT UPDATE!
DRAMA ALERT, CODE ORANGE!

Through proven interrogation techniques, I've discovered that one of our closest and most trusted allies, have important intelligence that they have yet to disclose.

QUOTE "I guess maybe I qualify as an enemy combatant, since I have the information, but am not disclosing. Although I will stress that I have not participated in anyway, nor do I know where Woody is being held."

This is particularly troubling to me, as this ally was solidly in the circle of trust. ("You" know who "you" are.)

We cannot completely sever ties as they are still an important source of information. However, I am not sure I can trust them 100% any longer. Trust is an interesting thing. It can take years to build, but only seconds to destroy. Hopefully they can do what it takes to regain our trust. They know what they have to do.

We are extending the peace by supporting the rise of democracy, and the hope and progress that democracy brings, as the alternative to hatred and terror. In democratic and successful societies, men and women do not swear allegiance to malcontents and murderers; they turn their hearts and labor to building better lives. And democratic governments do not shelter terrorist camps or attack their neighbors. When justice and democracy advance, so does the hope of lasting peace.

Faithfully yours,
L

"Pull my string!"

2006-08-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

Well, our sources checked it out, and UNFORTUNATELY the Woody in the photo isn't mine. Here was the telling bit, the time stamp from the picture.

Apparently, in our rush to judgement, we failed to check out the most obvious but key piece of evidence. It turns out the photo was almost a year old. As you can tell by looking at the "WOODY WATCH" on the upper right of the page, my Woody disappeared last week.

I realize we didn't find what we thought we would find. But knowing what I know today, I would have made the same decision.

I can safely say we are leading the world in confronting and defeating the man-made evil of terrorism. There are days when you may not hear good news about our war on terror. Let me assure you there is never a day when I do not learn of another threat, or receive reports of operations in progress, or give an order in this global war against a scattered network of extremist. But the war goes on, and we are winning.

Until Next Time,

"Ride like the wind, Bullseye"

2006-08-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Yes Folks, we've had our first Woody Sighting! This blog posting along with the attached photos was sent in by a concerned reader. Much thanks! Like it's been said before "Either you are with us, or you are with the Terrorists."

Given the grainy nature of the photograph, I'm not sure it's the right Woody. But we've got our research teams on the case and hopefully this will turn out to be a useful lead and not a wild toy chase.

Evil persons obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience must be taken very seriously, and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply.

Until Next Time,
L

P.S. Thanks to Rich Tatum for use of the images!

"Somebody Poisoned The Water Hole!"

2006-08-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

A New Development! After returning to work from a rare lunchtime break, I received an new envelope. Inside was a new demand letter (<-- Link) and a PHOTO! (<-- Link)

As you can see, Woody appears to be in GRAVE DANGER! I know it's a tough thing to see, but this is a war. Sometimes things are difficult. We must be prepared to make sacrifices.

We have more work to do, and there will be tough moments that test our resolve. We're fighting against people with blind hatred -- and armed with lethal weapons -- who are capable of any atrocity. They take innocent lives to create chaos for the cameras. They are trying to shake our resolve, and our will, but they will fail. The terrorists do not understand us. We do not falter under threat, and we will not allow our future to be determined by cowardly Toy-nappers.

Until next time, keep your eyes peeled....

"There's A Snake in My Boots!"

2006-08-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

So this all started just about a week ago. I come in to work and find a "Confidential" envelope on my chair. No big deal, must be something from HR. I open it and to my surprise I find the following!

A ransom note! <--Link

NO! I look up and sure enough Woody's gone! Our response was quick. WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS! The terrorists started this fight, and let me make this clear, we will end it at a time and place of our choosing.

Until my next reply....
L

Have You Seen My Woody?

2006-08-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone. Sometime Between 17:30 Hours Monday August 14th And 7:00 Hours Thursday August 17th, A Brutal Act Of TERRORISM Was Committed In CHB (my place of work). “Woody” Was Toy-Napped From His Home. We Have Reason To Believe He Is Being Held Against His Will At An Undisclosed Location In CHB. Please Forward Any Information Leading To The Recovery Of Woody And Apprehension Of The TERRORISTS Involved In This Inhuman Toy-Napping.

More information to follow.